Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
