dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
