Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
