So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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