I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
