would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
