its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
