Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
