I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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