Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
