xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
