I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
