just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
