I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
