Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My vagina is very pro this idea
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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