My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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