I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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