Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
