I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
