woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
