She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
