im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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