Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
