The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
