All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
