My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
