What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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