in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
