Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
