I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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