I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
