just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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