You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
