How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
