Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
