Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
