if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
