white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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