Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i believe in u and ur pee
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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