This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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