is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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