I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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