I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
