If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
