I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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