There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm too high and old for this...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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