All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
