You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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