I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I deserve this hangover.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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