soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
