I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
